Through the Triangle - Ellen (40)

Well, shit.
That was the only thing that went through my head, really, as I read my mission report thing. You'd think it would have been more eloquent, or at least just... more, but that was it: Well, shit. I didn't bother with "We're going to diiiiieeeee!" because an agent is trained not to think like that. There's always a chance you could die on a mission. If it happens, it happens. No need to waste brain cells panicking. Should death be in the cards, let death come. Life goes on. For everyone else, anyway.
In extreme situations-- and I've been in a few, so I know it goes-- an agent simply thinks, "Huh. Well. There's a good chance I might die here today." And, if the timing is inconvenient, "Damn." No dread, no absolute terror, just a detached, matter-of-fact realization. The first time it happened to me, that in itself scared me more than the creatures trying to gnaw through my shoes-- the detachment.
And don't get me wrong, I enjoy a challenge. It's part of what makes me one of the best at what I do. But perp 231776pp#I... not cool, guys. Not cool at all. It would take a lot of fancy maneuvering, I knew that immediately. The place was legendary for the sheer number of people who had not maneuvered fancily enough. And it would be even tougher with a bunch of new recruits. I wondered if Virgil had anything to do with it, or maybe Greg had gotten into the files and messed with things. I really hoped Greg didn't hate me that much. But of course that would have been enormously stupid of them, since they were going through with me. And neither of them were stupid, so I dismissed the idea.
I led the recruits through the door-- or, as it was known around the deceptively named North Pole Triangle Ops Base (popular lore is that the guy who named it was confused and they tried to cover it up by founding the Creative Naming and Coding Division, thus forever translating South to North and vice versa in all Agency business), the Portal-- and into the Vessel that would take us through the Triangle. The vessel was shaped like a triangle, a pyramid actually, and very white. Very clean. Very shiny. The kind of atmosphere that makes you want to sit quietly and hope you don't get probed. Or, sometimes, tapdance. Or, again, smuggle a boombox in. Or maybe a band, although that would be harder. I bet you'd get killer acoustics in that thing.
"What falls in the shadows?" I asked the group once we were inside, and they chorused the answer.
"Society's pants." But they looked pretty nervous, especially the kids. I had no words of comfort. We weren't exactly going to Disney World, here. I told them the journey would take about a half hour and pointed Gill and Ian in the direction of Marcus and the training room where they'd learn to use their scanners. Then I sat down with a People magazine.
I didn't read the People magazine. I couldn't concentrate. I took out my paperback of Pride and Prejudice. I stared at it. I looked up at Greg, being very Darcy-esque with his arms crossed and looking too cool for the Triangle. I put it the book away. I took out the People again. I sat down next to Greg. I waited three minutes. I leaned over and whispered, "Just so you know, it's 231776pp#I." If I hadn't been a recruiter, I wouldn't have been able to tell he was extremely surprised. But I was a recruiter, and he certainly was surprised.
"What did you say?" Scarlett asked from across the room. "No secrets. You can't treat him different just because you know him."
Virgil smiled like a jackass. "Yes, Ellen, what were you telling him?"
I returned the fake smile with ease. I wasn't facing him; my eyes were steadily locked on Scarlett's. But the smile was all for him. "I said, 'Jennifer Lopez got married again, you owe me a pie.' We have this bet going."
"Oh." That seemed to satisfy Scarlett.
But Virgil would not loose that irritating smile, like he knew exactly what I'd said, and what I was thinking, and that I thought he was a jackass and just didn't care. That jackass.
Nothing else was said until the vessel jerked to a halt. Ian, Gillian, and Marcus returned. The doors slid open, and I once again heard that little detached voice in my head say, "Huh. Well. There's a good chance I might die here today. Damn."

Secret, Secret - Greg - 39

I left the breakfast table and headed to the departure lounge. I had brought all my stuff to the lounge early that morning. But well, I was walking down the hallway, I heard a familiar voice behind me.
"Greg, buddy! Great to see ya! But didn't they tell ya casual Friday is tomorra?"
I turned to see the broad, moustached smile of Tony LaPorri. Tony had worked with me for about two months before it became entirely too clear that he was not cut out to work in recruitment. He was a larger than life guy with a larger than life moustache, and inconspicuous was not in his vocabulary. That's why they transferred him to NPTOB (The North Pole Triangle-Ops Base).
"What?" I asked.
"The sweater? Don't try to tell me that's regulation. You'll set a bad example for your recruits."
"No, I," I stopped. What Tony didn't know wouldn't hurt him, I figured. The whole gosh darn agency didn't really need to know my business. "I could have sworn it WAS Friday. Oh well, too late now."
Tony chuckled, "Greg. You crack me up. Well listen, give Ellen these papers for me."
"Sure thing," I replied, and headed down the hallway.
"And Greg?" he yelled as I moved further away.
"Yeah?"
"Be careful. You're perp this time is 231776pp#I. I don't think I have to tell you what happened to the last team that used that perp for a transfer."
I didn't answer. This was grim news and the classified docs I'd just been handed proved it. 231776pp#I was on the list of perpendicular universes that should only be used for transit to a parallel universe if no other, more acceptable perp will do.
Maybe I should back up. A parallel universe, as most folks know, is a place where the universe is basically the same, but somewhere along the way different things happened, so there are key differences. Those are the universes we patrol. A perpendicular universe, which you have to pass through to get to parallel universes, is basically completely different. Everything is different - geography, physiology, the laws of physics. They even have a different spectrum of colors. Now we only travel through apporoved perpendicular universes, but the catch is they have to contain a gate into the parallel we want to be in, so sometimes the options are limited. In this case the option seems to have been very limited. 231776pp#I was a death-trap. And if it weren't for my chance meeting with Tony and his blatant disregard for protocol (like maybe asking to see my security clearance), I wouldn't know about it. I went ahead and read the rest of the papers. THey were very informative, and I liked the idea of being one step ahead of Ellen all mission. I felt a tinge of guilt, but hey, they trained me to be a ruthless opportunist, so they were gonna have to deal with me as such.
Of course if I handed Ellen the papers she'd know I read them. So when I got down to the lounge (I was the first to arrive) I just left them on the table for her to find. But then I thought if she walked in and saw them on the table she'd guess that I'd looked through them. So I left the lounge again and headed to the office.
For all it's futuristic tech, a good chunk of the agency is beauracracy. So I slid into the office. To those who recognized me, I put on the "thought it was Friday" show. In front of those who didn't, I went with the lost new recruit act. Between the two I managed to get the papers to a confused intern with orders to deliver them to Ellen Leigh immediately.
As I knew I would, I arrived at the lounge before she did. Those interns were easy enough to predict. Of course I'd have to make sure my back was turned, lest she recognise me when she came in, but it seemed my secret was safe.
Everyone was now in the lounge except Virgil and Scarlett, and the atmosphere was, as one might expect, uncomfortable. Ellen had played the no-trust thing very skillfully this time around. Not only could we not feel safe anywhere, which was the point of the original ninja exercise, now we couldn't even trust each other. Of course, knowing what I now knew about our final destination, I didn't blame Ellen for swinging it that way; it would be important.
By and by, over the next ten minutes, Virgil showed up, looking cool as always but still betraying the sleepless nature of his night. The intern showed up and handed Ellen the papers and some coffee while apologizing profusely for being late. I watched as Ellen read with well-disguised (but not perfectly disguised) reservation. And finally Scarlett showed up all dolled up, looking- Well looking really good. I mean, I'm not about to go head over heels for a little brat like her, I mean she's a teenager for Chrissake, but my point is she cleans up nice. I saw Ian's jaw drop to the floor.
"A little overdressed don't you think?" asked Ellen.
"Well, you didn't say what the dress code was," said Scarlett, "And I always like to look extra nice on my first day at a new job."
Ellen cocked an eyebrow at her, shrugged, and moved on, addressing the group at large.
"In a moment that door will open and you'll see the vessel that we'll be taking through the Triangle to what's called a perpendicular universe. The perpendicular universe is weird. You're going to see and experience a lot of things you never thought possible. The important thing is to follow my lead and my and Marcus's instructions to the letter. Now I'm going to introduce you to a few pieces of equipment you'll need to know."
She pulled a small, scifi-esque ray gun out of her suitcase.
"This is a Extradimensional Creature Exterminator MiniCannon Mk6.7, or a perp gun. It's the weapon each of you will carry in the perpendicular part of our journey. It will not effect any of us, but it could potentially damage the ship. The button on the side arms it and the trigger fires it. Leave it holstered when you're not using it. This," she said, moving on to a small, circular device, "Is an interplanar scanner. I want two of you to be trained in it's use. Volunteers?"
Ian raised his hand. So did Gill.
"Alright. Marcus will instruct you when we get on board."
"This is a standard, intraplanar scanner. You should all know how to use it. However, it has a very user-friendly interface and you kids should have no trouble figuring it out. Next up is the headgear - it's got a long official sounding name but I'll be damned if I can remember it. It may look silly but wear it at all times. It protects you against most mind control, certain side effects of perpendicular travel, and it acts as - pardon my Star Trek references- a universal translator. Or babblefish if you prefer." She glanced at Scarlett's quizzical look. "It lets you understand other languages."
"Oh," said Scarlett, not a sci-fi fan. "Cool."
"Marcus, Greg, and I won't need one as we have the permanent internal version."
"As do I," said Virgil. Ellen just glared. She was obviously not too happy he was coming along. Well she wasn't alone.
At this point, Ellen pulled out a large green box.
"Inside this box is the most powerful, dangerous piece of equipment we have. It's called a Glimp, and it's what we use if everything goes wrong. A Glimp totally closes a universe off from the multiverse. A gate of any kind cannot be opened to a universe or from it once the glimp's been used inside it. It is centuries ahead of any other fuiture tech we've recieved. Any two of you can activate it, once we code it for your DNA and password. You'll input the password yourself. Tell it to no one, including me or your other team members. The only time in which you should use the glimp is if there is a clear and present danger to the survival of our universe or the multiverse and all other ways to avert disaster have been tried. THe only circumstance in which you use it without my clearance is if I am dead or captured. Virgil, you will not be recieving Glimp clearance at all."
Gillian raised her hand, and Ellen gestured to her. "Ellen," she asked, "How long do the effects of the glimp last?"
"Forever. And I can say that with certainty. Also, keep in mind that you have to be right next to the glimp to activate it, so if you do, you'll be trapped in whatever universe you're inside." There was a heavy silence, then Ellen relaxed her tone and went on.
"Well that's all for now. Get geared up, Marcus will get you coded into the Glimp, then I'll open this door and we'll board the Blob."
So it was ready to begin. The hardest mission I'd ever faced, perhaps the hardest anyone would ever face, and these recruits had no idea. Ellen hadn't let on at all. Well, I'd keep her secret. And I'd keep it secret that I had a secret to keep. Good old Tony had no idea what he'd done.

Non-regulation shoes -- Gillian (38)

I leaned back against the cubicle wall. My hair was out of place, my shirt was wet with sweat, and one shoe had fallen off somewhere. I hit my head softly against the wall. So much for seeming cool and collected.

There was a gentle knock on the door. I looked throught the crack in the door and saw Ellen standing outside in her black suit. Standard recruiter gear. I looked down and caught sight of some definintley non-regulation shoes. They were pointy-toed.

I stood up and slid back the lock. The door openned to reveal Ellen, standing holding my shoe.

"Thanks," I said quietly, taking the modest flat and sliding it onto my foot. "I have no idea how you'd run in those boots." I laughed, gesturing to her shoes.

Ellen lifted a pant leg and twisted her leg, revealing one of the coolest pairs of boots ever. Also one of the most uncomfortable looking. She must have noticed the lok on my facebecause she laughed. "The future is awesome in more ways than one," she said, dropping her pant leg.

Sensing an uncomfortable silence, I walked over to the sink and turned it on, splashing some cool water on my face. There was a cup dispenser on the wall, so I grabbed a cup and filled it with water. Ellen sat down on the granite counter and leaned against the mirror. She narrowly missed hitting her head against the old-fashioned light fixture on the wall. Crisp, white towels were hanging in stainless steel rings near the sinks. I grabbed one and dried my hands.

"I did the same thing," Ellen said suddenly. I was confused until she continued. "Those advortuans just set my stomach over the top," she swallowed hard, remembering. 'They do squirm on the way down, don't they?"

"On the way up, too," I said, making her laugh.

"Well, let's hope that these ones aren't as squirmy," she said, opening her fist to reveal two of the advortuans. "C'mon," she encouraged, "I got you some smaller ones. They don't squirm as much." She produced a croisant and handed it to me. "I added jam, since you seem to like it," she teased. I openned the croisant and stuffed the advortuans in on top of the blackcurrant jam.

"See?" said Ellen once I'd swallowed, "They don't squirm as much."

I smiled grimly. "Relatively speaking," I replied.

Ellen hopped down from the counter. "You ok to go now?" she checked her watch. "We don't have a lot of time..."

I forced a smile onto my face. "I'll survive," I said brightly.

"For the next five minutes, anyway," Ellen replied, holding the bathroom door open for me.

* * *

Once we got to the end of the hallway, Ellen stopped. "I'll get your things," she said, "but you should go straight to the departure lounge." A woman in a suit identical to hers stepped up to us. "Narien will take you there. I'll see you a few minutes." She walked away, toward the dining room.

"This way, please," Narien gestured down a hallway to our left. I followed her down the hall. "Is it a long walk?" I asked her. She shrugged. "Not really. Depends on how short your legs are." Her eyes were laughing. This must have been one of Ellen's friends. I hadn't met many recruiters, but they didn't usually make jokes.

I looked down at Narien's feet in front of me. Sticking out the back were thin, black heels. I smiled, thinking of Ellen's comment about the future. I couldn't wait.

Breakfast is Served - Ian (37)

I woke up with just about the worst headache ever - whatever Ellen had put in that coffee had some pretty strong side-effects. I was kind of angry, really. I'd trusted Ellen and Geg, and they'd turned and pulled something like this. Greg was already up when I woke up - I don't think the guy'd slept more than a few hours.
I looked at my watch: it was 7:45. That meant we'd be leaving in an hour and fifteen minutes. I was excited, and at the same time scared out of my wits. The whole coffee incident had made me rethink trusting the others, which left me with really just me. And Scarlett - I knew her well enough, she wouldn't turn on me. Just then, Greg interupted my thoughts.
"Good," he said, not turning to look at me, "You're up. You should have time for a quick shower before we head out,"
I took a shower. It was very clean, with one of those really fancy mounted soap dispensers. I used the soap I'd brought, though- I was afraid they might have put something in it. When I got out of the shower and got dressed, Ellen and the girls were waiting by the door. Ellen addressed us all.
"Are your bags packed?" she asked me.
"Pretty much," I answered, "I just have to grab a few things,"
"Well hurry,"she said.
I did. I was back out there with everything in five minutes.
Ellen led us all down a long corridor to a Cafeteria where, for the first time, I saw other agency workers. The majority of them were pretty normal looking people. One, however, stood out. He a had long, curling tail. Scarlett noticed him as well - I caught her staring as he walked by. I didn't ask - how do you ask about something like that? - but Greg noticed my curiosity and explained anyway.
"Human evolution varies slightly from dimension to dimension. In what we call the Omicron subset, we never lost our tails,"
I didn't understand much of it at the time. Eventually I would start to understand the complicated system of naming infinite dimensions.
"So," I asked Ellen as we waited in the line,"What did you put in that drink, anyway?"
"Hyper-sleep compound," She answered, "You got twelve hours of sleep in just six. Another useful byproduct of time-travel,"
"You could have warned me," I objected.
"You wouldn't have drunken it," she replied.
We reached the beginning of the line. All the regular breakfast foods were present - bacon, eggs, ham, - plus what looked like centipedes. Moving centipedes. Much to my surprise, Ellen took a small spoonful of these and put them on her plate, then dumped a wriggling spoonful onto mine.
"They're not as bad as they look," she explained. They contain a nutrient that helps the body deal with the strain of Perpendicular travel,"
"You couldn't have cooked them?" asked Gillian.
"Delutes the nutrient," Ellen answered.
"You couldn't have killed them?" asked Scarlett, horified.
"They continue to produce and secrete the stuff from inside your stomach," Ellen answered, matter-of-factly, "And it's a good thing, too. Before we discovered these, half our recruits died in transit,"
We sat down, and stared horrified at the centipedes. Well, most of us. Gregg casually began mixing them with his scrambled eggs, and Ellen split open a croisant and placed the insects inside.
"They go down better with other food," said Greg, "They taste kind of like lime, if that helps you,"
Eventually, Gillian got up the courage to try one of the critters, after smothering it in Jam. She grimaced as it wriggled down her throat, then looked around, got up, and ran off. Ellen ran after her.
I decided to buckle down and try one. Taking Greg's suggestion, I stuck all three of them between halves of my english muffin and shoved the whole thing in my mouth.
It was an interesting sensation, to say the least. Greg was right, though - they did kinda taste like lime.
Scarlett absolutely would not eat hers. She was indignant.
"There was nothing about eating live bugs in that contract!" she complained.
"You can choose not to eat them," said Greg, "But you risk turning yourself inside-out in perpendicular space. Besides, they're good for your cholesteral,"
Scarlett continued to refuse the centipedes, until Ellen returned and told us it was time to disembark.