Wednesday, March 02, 2005

This Chapter May or May Not Contain Ninjas- Greg (34)

Of course, I knew we weren't going to get any sleep. I doubted whether the timetable was really eight and a half hours at all. The only thing that puzzled me was that they knew I knew this trick, and they were still treating me like any other recruit.
Maybe I should back up. Seven years ago, our mission was not via the triangle. It was via the other method of transit, which we call the Fall. But we still took a "plane" to a structure and were led to rooms that resembled cheap hotels. The agency's all about consistency. And I remember the night we spent in the hotel.

Jimmy handed out the cards to Virgil and I, and we headed to the room.
"You're not coming along?" Virgil asked Jimmy as we entered the room.
"Recruiter's priviledge," Jimmy smiled mysteriously at that, "I get my own room. 'Night boys."
So Virgil and I went into the room, checked it out, talked for a little while. We speculated idly about the mission - after all, we knew even less then Ian and the girls knew this time around - I didn't have me to tell me things. (Knowing what I know now about Time Travel, that's actually rather surprising). But I digress.
The point is, Virgil and I eventually settled down and went to sleep. And that was when Ninjas burst into the room and pinned us down. I was a tough guy - hung out in a lot of bars before I was recruited, I was a good man in a fight. I even managed to take out one ninja. Virgil was useless - He was different then, Virgil. A scrawny thing when he was recruited, and without his current insufferable sense of style. He still had the accent, but without the confidence it had less of an effect. So I took out my one ninja, which for half asleep in a hotel room wasn't bad, but Virgil was down right away, and I was thinking oh hell, just got recruited and it's all over.
The ninjas tied us up with pillow cases on our heads. They took us to a room, pulled off our hoods and we saw, to our surprise, Jimmy. I looked over at Virgil. He was sobbing. The girls in the party were over past him in their own chairs - they'd had the same visit.
"You've all officially failed your first training mission," said Jimmy harshly, "I'm very disappointed. Only one of you managed to take out even one ninja, and none of you evaded capture. Had this been a real mission you'd all be dead. It's clear to me our recruitment procedures need a little work."
"That's ridiculous!" exclaimed Ellen, "It's our first night! We were outnumbered 4 to 1 and we were sleeping and led to believe we were safe!"
"Oh and I suppose you think real enemies will only attack at designated times in fair numbers? I told you yesterday to be always on guard. Obviously you didn't understand. All of you go back to bed. We leave in four hours."
At that, he walked out and the ninjas cut the ropes. I watched as Virgil stared him down with a look of disgust I'd see more and more as he questioned the agency. The ninja thing was the beginning of the end for Virg being on our side, I could see that now. The next morning Jimmy did not mention the events of the night at all. The lesson was obvious - trust no one, be always on guard.

Since then I learned that this, or some variation, was done on every mission. That the post-ninja speech was another script. The recruiters keep the start of these missions as scripted as possible, because once they get going nothing is planned.
So it was all staged to scare us into caution, and I knew it was gonna happen tonight. Only I was gonna be ready for it, and darn it I'd get the kid ready too. I wasn't looking to make another Virgil.
After the door closed, Ian and I started scouting out the room. A tall lamp with a lampshade, two beds, a phone, two small tables, two chairs, some wall lighting. I started searching the walls for seams. Where had all those ninjas come from so many years ago? We'd certainly have to block the door, if nothing else. Ian spoke up.
"This is a pretty nice room. I mean, it's not the Ritz, but I like how we get to sleep in a nice room before all the missioning."
"Wish it were so, kid," I said, "Wish it were so."
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Unless I'm very much mistaken, we're going to be attacked by ninjas as soon as we go to sleep."
"Oh Great. Also for some reason I just realized that I never got my bag."
"What?"
"I left it in my car when I went to the meeting and - Oh shoot, my brother's car. It's definitely gonna get towed or something."
"Listen kid, these are not things to worry about. I'll give the office a ring, they'll get it to us before we depart. I'll do it now if you want. You worry about the ninjas."
"What ninjas?" he asked frustratedly, but I was already at the phone. Pretty soon I was patched through to Marcus.
"Hey Greg," he said.
"Hey Marcus. It looks like Ian left a car parked outside the rendezvous point with a bag still in it."
"No, I saw to it it got shipped here." That was a nice surprise.
"The bag?"
"No. Well, yes, if it was in the car."
"You shipped his car here?"
"Didn't want it to get towed."
"Thanks."
"No problem. Get some sleep." He hung up. You had to admire Marcus. He was like a robot. He always did what made sense. Only thing is that Marcus-sense and normal sense aren't the same.
"What's up with you, anyway?" asked Ian. "You're a recruiter and a recruit and it's all very messy and it doesn't fit. And nobody's explained it yet, which is weird."
"You hit it on the nose, kid. I should be a recruiter, but those bastards re-recruited me. Now I'm no traitor like Virgil, but I'm not gonna lie down and take any crap. So any opportunity I get to ruin a pre-rehearsed part of the mission I'm gonna take. Hopefully, that'll convince Ellen to promote me back up where I belong."
Ian thought for a minute.
"That seems like a risky gamble," he said.
"Why?"
"Well, you'd think the pre-rehearsed parts are that way for a reason. If it's the best way to train recruits and you screw it up, couldn't you doom the whole mission?"
Of course the kid had a point. A point I'd debated myself several times since I decided to come along. But I didn't want to think about it right now, so I made an excuse.
"Let me save you the humiliation and just tell you. The lesson the ninjas are supposed to teach you is to always be on your guard. The only difference is, I'm gonna actually show you how to be on your guard instead of just what happens when you aren't. Now you build things, right?"
"Yeah, I dabble," he admitted cautiously.
"Better than me. Start looking at those locks and see if you can find a way to keep the passkey from working. I'm willing to bet the ninjas get in easily because they have keys. If we can change the locks things'll be harder for them. I'm gonna look for a secret entrance."
Well, I couldn't find a thing.
More and more a thought was creeping into my head. What if this was anticipated? What if there weren't any ninjas coming, and the whole point was for me to do this whole fiasco and come out looking like an idiot in the ninja-free morning? I'd be permanently discredited in the eyes of this kid, and the recruiters would emerge the obvious victors. And there was not a damn thing I could do about it if that were the case. Oh well, too late now. I swung the lamp around a couple of times til I'd gotten a good feel for it. 'It should easily take out an agency ninja,' I thought. It was about then that Ian called me over.
"It's a good thing my swiss army knife is so complicated, not many people would have a star-head screwdriver. But I got the thing off and pressed some buttons and I think I've reprogrammed the door. But I don't know how to check cause now I can't get out."
"That seems like a bad thing," I replied.
"At least the ninjas can't get in."
"Yeah. I'm sure we'll be able to get out somehow come morning," I lied.
Next we checked the windows. The third one, oddly enough, was real. I mean the outside was fake but there was a real, solid window. So I broke one of the chairs and stuck the leg in to jam the window shut.
"Are you sure we should be doing all this?" asked Ian for what must have been the fourth or fifth time.
"Honestly, no. I've been thinking they might try to psych me out by not sending any ninjas."
I could tell Ian thought I was crazy. I would have thought I was crazy too, and I'd dug myself a hole. A hole only ninjas could get me out of. As a last touch, Ian surprised me by suggesting we sleep (in shifts as I'd planned) under the beds. That way even if the ninjas got in we'd still be able to surprise them by grabbing their legs while they went for us. He was a smart kid. So I let him sleep, while I waited for ninjas or lack thereof. It was the longest night of my freakin' life.