The end of Gillian's so-called life

I should have said no.  It would have been so easy just to open my mouth and say loudly and clearly; "NO! I don't want to! It's too dangerous! I don't want any part of this!"  But of course, being me, I didn't.  I said; "Sure, why not?  What have I got to lose?"
Well for one thing, I had the three packets of raspberry jam, sitting in my pocket.  They were there because they reminded me of my mother.  She  always used to tell me, "Don't go anywhere without a packet of jam.  You never know when you'll need one." 
I realize now that I was only the OCD talking.  But still, I like to keep a part of her near me all the time.  Which is why I always carry around jam.  It is the only thing in my life that I've got to lose.
The rest of my life sucks. 
I've got the worst job on the face of the planet.  I'm a secretary to the most disorganized man on the planet.  That's not what it says on my business card, but that is essentially what my job is.  Don't get me wrong; Jim can be a great guy... if you're tall, blond, and beautiful.  I would love to tell you that I'm all of these things, but the truth is, I'm none.
Which is probably why I have no love life.  My last date was four years ago.  I should ask my friends if they would set me up on a blind date, I'm that desperate, but I'd have to find some friends first.
All of these factors combined to bring me to the decision that I had nothing to lose.  Which is why, yesterday, when the recruitment officers came up to me on the street, and asked me to come with them, I didn't really care what happened to me.  They were, big, like six feet tall, and they were wearing black suits.  They told me, "You have been selected for a dangerous mission.  You may risk your life at some point during the mission.  Will you accept to undergo this mission?"
"Wait a minute," I said, "Why did you pick me? What redeeming qualities do I have?"
"That is not important at this time," the bigger recruitment officer said, "just answer the question, yes or no."
I contemplated my options.  If I said no, I would go back to my normal, boring, friendless, boyfriendless, mind numbingly boring  life.  If I said yes, my life would change and possibly be, dare I say it, exciting. Unwillingly, my mind jumped to The Matrix and suddenly I was 8-year-old Gillian, eager to go on adventures in made-up places, never thinking about the costs. 
"Sure, why not?" I said out loud, "What have I got to lose?"